“Don’t you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we’re left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.”

- Alvie Singer (Annie Hall)

The 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks have passed, and so too have the insufferable week of programming showing the same 2 minutes of footage and telling the same story over and over. But what has really passed is the rest of the country’s concern for New York City; the bible thumping, gay-soldier booing contingency from the middle of this country, for one day a year (since 2001, of course) now acts as if New York holds a place in their heart beyond just that one Martin Luther King Jr Day weekend in which they saw Stomp, ate a soft pretzel and commented on the general “rudeness” of the supposedly cosmopolitan residents of New York. Yes, for one day a year, the rest of the country are New Yorkers. 

Fast forward to September 12th. The end of Fox News’ (and to be fair, every other channel’s) insidious, repetitive programming on September 11th. Suddenly, the teary-eyed Christian conservatives view New York as the same cesspool of Jews, Gays and Mexicans it was on the 10th.

So I beg of you, rest of the country: Stop giving a shit about New York. Let’s drop the charade, because in all honesty, we don’t give a shit about you either (in fact, you scare most of us). To many of you, we’re left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers, and to us, you’re Tea Party supportin’, bible thumpin’, good ole boys (and girls) who are stuck in the McCarthy era vis-a-vis Fox News and Rush Limbaugh.

Let’s call a truce. Let’s just hate each other 365 days a year (366 on leap years). Because it just feels wrong for you to say something nice about us. And it feels even worse to return the favor. And let’s be real, nobody gives a shit about the whole Oklahoma City thing, so let’s just call it even.